Santa Fe, New Mexico – In the early minutes of Christmas morning 2014, my beautiful 49 year old son, John, died. Parts of me died with him and life was forever changed. Deep grief is a dangerous adventure – a hostile and treacherous landscape with no visible escape route. Stumbling through most of 2015, I made mental Post-it notes to eat, sleep, paint, function – urgent care became routine. I was broken and I did not want to mend.